Restoring Connection: Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples' Attachment Needs

Couples often believe that their relationship is dissolving when there is conflict. However, the core issue with couples is the emotional disconnect. As human beings we have this innate desire to become attached. As children we had this constant need to attach to our primary caregiver. As adults we become attached to our lover. Attachment creates a calm place and gives us emotional balance.

Attachment

Emotion Focused Therapy tunes into the most powerful human need of attachment. Attachment teaches us that a person is a safe haven and someone you can turn to during stressful times. It’s not a weakness to turn to another rather it’s a source of strength in moments of vulnerability.

When a couple comes in distress, they are in essence saying ‘Where are you? Are you going to respond to me?’. This is attachment distress. When we feel cut off from loved ones, we feel we lost the connection.

Attachment is structured by A.R.E. : Accessibility, Responsiveness and Engagement. ARE you there for me? It’s a Fear which is threatening to us that no one is there for us.

What does Therapy look like?

Emotion Focused Therapy first deescalates the negative cycles the couple gets into which causes the emotional disconnect. Then in therapy the therapist guides the couple to access their emotions which helps the couple recognize how their attachment needs aren’t being met.

If you find yourself in constant conflict with your partner and you would like a therapist who can guide you in Emotion Focused Therapy in Los Angeles or Emotion Focused Therapy in California, then please reach out to our Empowered Healing Center for a free Consultation.